Update

Late Merry Christmas and Early Happy New Year, everyone! :)

Things have been tough over at our house, but in spite of it all, we managed to have a very nice Christmas. I think the best part was going to midnight mass on Christmas Eve. I was so blessed by that service! I love my church so very much, especially the people in it.

The PCOS is very bad recently... sooo sleepy all the time, and my body feels like a pile of bricks! Anyway, I hope that gets better soon. I got a gift certificate to my favorite herbal store, as well as the much-coveted herbal remedies book by Rosemary Gladstar(this made me so happy!!!), so I ordered some really good herbs from which I will make various healing decoctions, teas, and maybe some tinctures. They should help a lot with the PCOS symptoms.

Blessings to you all!

Erin

New Blog!

No, this one isn't going anywhere, I'm just adding a blog where I can record my PCOS progress. :) Here it is: http://no-more-pcos.blogspot.com/


~Erin

Update

Whew, it's been so long! Sorry about that... things have been more difficult than usual. Unfortunately, my health is going downhill. I'm trying to hang in there and keep active, but it's getting harder. I mostly feel like lying in bed and resting, but life goes on, and I can't afford to rest much more than usual.

I am on day 1 of a very strict diet: gluten free, dairy free, sugar free...VERY limited. My diet mostly consists of vegetables, certain meats, limited fruit, and raw nuts and seeds. As some of you might know, I'm an emotional eater, and cutting out all carbs and sugar is quite a challenge, but I'm trying!! I know it will be better for me in the long run. So I'll be posting updates on the diet/health/weight loss fairly often.

Blessings!

~Erin

Frugal Friday - homemade toothpaste

My Frugal Friday tip:

Homemade Toothpaste (or rather, toothsoap!)

I love this simple toothsoap recipe from Lindsay at www.passionatehomemaking.com . People often aren't aware of what ingredients are in their personal care products -- I've done a fair amount of research on the safety of conventional toothpaste ingredients, and I was not pleased with what I found. Even Tom's of Maine products have some questionable ingredients. This recipe is completely safe to use for both adults and young children. I know there is some controversy on whether or not glycerine is safe to use in your mouth, but from the research I've done, the amount used in this recipe is not enough to cause any problems. I've been using it with great results.

-5 teaspoons coconut oil
-1 teaspoon Dr. Bronner's baby mild castile soap
-1 or 2 teaspoons xylitol sweetner (or stevia)
-5 drops peppermint essential oil
-3 drops sweet orange essential oil

Mix all ingredients.

It does NOT taste like soap at all. It tastes very pleasant, but I think next time I will add more xylitol and essential oils to make a stronger flavor.

For more Frugal Friday ideas, go to www.biblicalwomanhoodblog.blogspot.com

Have a lovely weekend! :)

~Erin

URGENT PRAYER REQUEST

The fires are getting close, and we are packed and ready to leave at a moment's notice. Please pray for those who have lost their homes, and for the brave firefighters who are struggling to keep our homes standing.

Heavenly Father, please do not let our home burn down.

Frugal Friday - homemade beauty products

Okay, so I've decided to jump on board with the Frugal Friday tips!

Here's my tip for the day:

Women have a natural desire to look nice, have good skin, hair, etc. But when money is tight, paying $8-10 just for a bottle of skin cream is ridiculous! Not to mention the harsh chemicals that are put into most commercial products. The solution? Make your beauty products at home! For the past year or so, I haven't bought a single makeup/cosmetic/skin product. And why would I, when I can make safer and more effective products at home?! I have extremely sensitive skin which is prone to breakouts, but guess what? I haven't had a major breakout in a long time. Here's what I do: To wash my face, I simply use warm water, a washcloth, and a tiny bit of Dr. Bronner's baby soap (inexpensive and totally natural). Then, for day time, I apply a mixture of 1 part aloe vera gel and 1 part oil (like jojoba or almond). At night, I just use a couple drops of oil without the aloe. You can either grow your own aloe (I do), or you can buy it at most grocery stores, or Target/Walmart. Try to find the purest form of aloe gel, as some brands have added chemicals and preservatives that are harmful for your skin.


For more Frugal Friday tips, head on over to www.biblicalwomanhoodonline.com/blog.htm !

~Erin

Some Links

Just thought I'd take a moment to post the links to some of the blogs I read regularly:

(Note: I don't know any of these people personally)

Stacy McDonald, mother to 9 (I think). An amazing Godly woman!
www.yoursacredcalling.blogspot.com

And two of her daughters:
www.itsthesimplethings.blogspot.com
www.insertfootinopenmouth.blogspot.com


Crystal Paine's website/blog. She has wonderful ideas on frugal living, recipes, homemaking, etc.
www.biblicalwomanhoodonline.com/blog.htm


Jenni's blog. Hilarious, witty, brilliant mother to 12. Love her blogging style!
www.onething.typepad.com


Anna Sophia & Elizabeth Botkin, two Christian sisters. I really look up to them.
www.visionarydaughters.com


If I remember any more, I'll post them later. :)

Also, I've been trying to read a LOT more lately, so for accountability, I'm going to post the books I have read each month.

Books I read in October:

~Many Dimensions, by Charles Williams (loved it!)
~War In Heaven, by Charles Williams (loved it!)

I wish I'd gotten in a couple more, but I'll do better this month.

Books I'm currently reading:

~ All Hallow's Eve, by Charles Williams
~ Sanctuary, by David Jeremiah (this is a great devotional book, I've read it several times)

~Erin

Update on the cyst

Thanks so much for your prayers and kind words, guys! I went to the doctor and got some antibiotics for the Bartholin cyst, and it is MUCH better. I am so grateful. Thank you, God! I am still praying for relief from the daily migraines, but still, the relief of having the cyst go away is GREAT!

Soooo to make up for the complaining rant, here are 10 random things I am thankful for:

1. My darling kittens. I love them more every day!

2. My amazing mom.

3. My amazing brother.

4. Anna Sophia and Elizabeth Botkin, and the McDonald family! I am constantly looking up to them examples of strong, Godly people.

5. Charles Williams. What a wonderful author!

6. The C.S. Lewis Foundation -- teaching students how to impact the world for Christ.

7. All the dear children I get to babysit! :)

8. My violin.

9. Potatoes!!! I've been a potato addict recently.

10. Any day we have cold and/or rainy weather!


Blessings,

Erin

A bit of complaining... please forgive me...

Okay, I know that my life could be a lot worse. A LOT worse. I know that I only have a teensy weensy amount of the suffering some people face every day, but still...pain is pain and this is the only place I can share it without feeling that I'm burdening people, so here it is.

As some of you know, my health has not been good lately. It is very frustrating as a young person to have health problems. It's frustrating at any age, but now at age 16 when a lot of people my age are in top condition with few health issues, it is a bit depressing. It is even more frustrating that nobody my age understands this stuff. I don't know any person my age or even around my age with health problems, and if I try to talk to teenagers about it, they're kind of like "Uh huh...um...yeah sorry dude, bummer...ummm...OMG I STUBBED MY TOE MY LIFE IS OVER!!! oh you wanna hear about my super cute boyfriend who... just OMG dumped me??"

AAAARGH. NO, I do not want to hear about your boyfriend troubles!!!!! You shouldn't even HAVE a boyfriend!!

Okay, so I don't really say that to them. But I do get a little miffed. I understand, people have varying degrees of pain tolerance (both mental and physical). So basically, I've stopped talking about this stuff to people other than my mom and one or two friends. Even some adults don't entirely get it. I think the main thing I've realized over the past year or so is: If people haven't had painful experiences, they're not likely to understand your pain. The ones who are the most sympathetic are the ones who have gone through trials and suffering. Now, of course this is not true of everyone...just almost everyone. *cough*

Now, on to the pain itself. I was recently diagnosed with PCOS, and although it sounds like nothing, it causes a whole lot of problems, and considerable pain. It also leaves you vulnerable to several nasty diseases...like diabetes. My most common symptoms are nausea, difficulty eating, stomach pain, migraines, and herpes.

Two days ago, I had the worst migraine of my entire life. (Remember, I have migraines almost daily, and they sometimes last for weeks without any relief...so I am pretty tough when it comes to headaches!) It started around 2:00 in the afternoon, and it was probably the worst pain I have ever had (although a rupturing ovarian cyst is not far behind). I honestly wanted to die, right then and there, just to ensure I would never have to go through that kind of pain again. I begged to be taken to the hospital so they could put me to sleep. My head was burning, throbbing, feeling like it was going to burst. Later that night, I vomitted the tiny amount of food I had been able to eat. At about 7:00 in the evening, I knew I could not take it any more. My mom called the hospital and spoke with a nurse who suggested that I go immediately to the ER. We were just headed out the door when I forced myself to think about how expensive emergency care is, and how we really, really couldn't afford it right now. I made myself go lie down and just be still and accept that I was going to have to deal with the pain myself. It was a really hard thing to do, but I felt stronger as I made the decision. An hour or so later, I was asleep. I woke up in a few minutes to vomit, and then got back to sleep. I stayed asleep for a couple hours, and woke up again to find the pain was still very present, although somewhat relieved. Thankfully, it was mostly gone when I woke up that morning. But I was very dizzy and weak and spent most of the day in bed.

Today, I am much better, and I can now focus on my other current health problem: My huge Bartholin cyst. It started about four days ago, and I had NO idea what it was, only that it hurt and itched like the dickens and I wanted it gone. Forever. Walking, sitting, and standing are the most painful. That leaves...um...lying down? Yeah, that's what I've been doing most of today, yesterday, and the day before. It's about 3 centimeters, or the size of a very large walnut. It's probably benign, and could go away on its own, but it could also be an abscess, or worse...cancerous. I pray it is not. And I think it's unlikely, but...always possible. I hope I hope I hope I can get it drained/removed tomorrow. I have an appointment for Wednesday, but I would much rather have it done sooner.

Whew, that was LONG. Thanks so much for reading, guys. This is my little complaining room, and I appreciate it that y'all don't just tell me to suck it up and go cry in a corner. :) Actually, you would be perfectly within your rights to do so...but please don't, because I will throw a sharpie at you. Or something.



Guys, I am blessed. I truly am. There are just some icky things going on right now.

Thanks for listening to my rant, and God Bless!

Erin

BIBLICAL WOMANHOOD: DAY 1

I've been thinking a lot recently about what it means to be a Godly woman. I am by no means an expert on the subject, but I will do my best to summarize my thoughts in this coming series of posts. Today I will share some of my thoughts on body image.

BODY IMAGE: Part 1:

Our society places many demands on us, and few (or none) of them point us to the way of biblical womanhood. For instance, we are constantly told that we "should embrace our bodies" and "be content with who we are and what we look like", and then we are bombarded by images of frighteningly thin models who apparently are meant to be our beauty ideals. Do you see anything wrong with this picture??? I sure do. Having struggled a lot with body image issues and anorexia, I can tell you that being thin will NOT make you happy. When you have an eating disorder, it doesn't matter how thin you are, because you will still think you are overweight! I remember a time not too long ago when I frightened my family and friends with my appearance. I was always sick and miserable and hungry, and I looked so undernourished because...well...I was. Of course I denied to myself and everyone else that I was starving myself. In my mind, I was "controlling and disciplining" myself. I mean, it's a sign of strength and self control to starve yourself, right?? Wrong. I remember keeping a journal of exactly what I ate for a few months. Here's a sample entry:

Breakfast: 1/2 apple

Lunch: 3 crackers

Dinner: nothing

Workouts: 1 hour cardio, 1/2 hour weights


Admitting all this stuff is really hard. I don't think I've ever shared this kind of thing before, but it needs to be said. Girls need to be made aware of what this kind of nutritional deprivation can do to their bodies and minds. Even though I am eating more now, I still struggle with body image on a daily basis. It's a constant battle. But you CAN win! Rejoice in the body God gave you, and do not listen to the devil telling you that you are anything less than a beautiful child of the King!

In BODY IMAGE: Part 2, I'll share some tips for keeping a healthy view of your body.


Blessings,

Erin

Madeline, here's your requested post! :)

There hasn't been too much going on, actually. Mostly everyday stuff.

Last night, we went to see The Merchant of Venice, put on by a local theater company. It was surprisingly good! We really enjoyed it.

Sooooo since I can't think of anything else to tell you, I'll just post 10 random things about myself! :)

10 random things:

1. The weather today was really nice.
2. I haven't eaten anything today but a plate of fruit, two french fries, and coffee. I must be getting sick, because I have NO appetite.
3. I had fun talking to Maddy today! :)
4. I am insanely excited that my mom might have time to watch a movie with me sometime next week!!! It is so nice to have some time with her, even for just an hour.
5. God is good.
6. I hope my appetite comes back soon.
7. My hair needs to grow faster. I miss my long hair!
8. I hope to live in the country someday.
9. I love Fall/Winter!
10. I have to go help with dinner...


XOXO,

Erin

The verdict on the kittens...

Oh my. I am at a loss for words. Well, ummm....basically....THE KITTENS ARE AMAZING!!! They are nearly 12 weeks old, they are SO adorable, and both of them have fabulous personalities. They've spent the last two days sleeping, eating, sleeping, playing, eating, sleeping, playing, and sleeping some more. :) I will upload pics/videos as soon as my brother *cough* shows me how.

We took them to the vet yesterday. Joy. They absolutely hated it, of course. Archie was pretty good, but Lina (pronounced "Leena") had a fit. Oh well, she got over it. (And yes, we did change their names. We didn't like the ones the breeder gave them.)

We were supposed to keep them in only one room for a week after getting them, but they were very eager to get out, so I put them in a basket and took them into the family room to let them explore a bit. They liked that.

The whole fighting thing just cracks me up. Archie loves to *almost* pounce on Lina. He'll sneak up on her while she's not looking, and then right when he's about to get her, he'll run away! She immediately turns around and attacks him, of course. I love the little squeak noises they make while they're fighting. AHH, I just can't get enough of these little cuties! :)

Well, I guess that's enough for now. Pics will be coming soon.

~Erin

New look.

I like it. If you REALLY can't stand it, I might consider changing it. Maybe. :)

Sometimes I wonder...

About life's trials and struggles. I try to think about how they're improving me rather than how they're hurting me. Sometimes it's hard to think in that way, and all too often I find myself thinking WHY me, WHY was I chosen to walk this path? instead of saying Lord, I realize there is a reason for all this, but I *really* can't figure it out? All I feel is pain with no end in sight. But I trust You and want to continue trusting You until Your plan is revealed. Sometimes I'm so afraid and it seems like nothing can help. And then comes Your still, small voice saying "My child, be still and know that I am God. Nothing can separate you from My love."

Lord Jesus, hide me under the shadow of Your wings!

Kittens!!!

Ever since our beloved Kitty died, we've been looking for some kittens to welcome into our family, and it looks like we've found the perfect pair!! Kitty was my very best friend, and it was so hard when she passed away. She was there for me when nobody else was, and she let me cry on her whenever I needed to.

I haven't been truly happy about something in a LONG time, so this is really really neat! :) We haven't actually gotten the kittens yet, because they're too young, but we'll be getting them on September 18th. Here are pics:

www.kelskits.com/Chini%208-27-08%20pic%201c.jpg

^That's Emma

www.kelskits.com/Spot%208-27-08%20pic%201a.jpg

^And that's Jack

I am just...speechless. They're so beautiful and sweet, and I'm just so happy!! :D

Hi everyone...

It's me again. :)

Well, on top of PCOS and herpes, I now have a cold. LOL. Just my luck. The herpes just keeps on coming back over and over again, even though I'm taking the medicine five times a day! It's just a tiny bit frustrating. :P

Even so, I had a lovely time with Joi and Ashley last night, and my mom said she would try to make time to watch a movie with me this week, so I'm really looking forward to that.

My dad's blood test results were given to us today, and unfortunately, he may have some more problems. He's going to have an ultrasound to check for kidney problems. Prayers would be greatly appreciated for that -- he *really* doesn't need any more health issues right now!

Hugs,

~Erin

The Big Update

Hi, everyone! Sorry it's been so long since I updated...things have been more than a little insane around here lately. :)

In the past three weeks, I've had two ruptured ovarian cysts (resulting in two unpleasant hospital visits), and I found out I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). This is weighing very heavily on me right now, because -- aside from the physical pain it's causing -- my doctor told me it's going to be very difficult to get pregnant later on, and I won't be able to do it without some sort of medical help. For those of you who don't know me well... this is the worst blow I could ever have had. I live for the time when I can have children. And the mere thought that I might not be able to do that is heartbreaking. So please, please pray that I will not have that precious gift taken away.

Then, for the last week, I've had a herpes outbreak with little blisters and scabs all around my mouth and lips (very painful) so I've hardly been able to eat or drink anything. If it keeps going much longer, I'll have to be fed through a tube at the hospital, and I *really* don't want that to happen! I have to apply ice around my mouth pretty much all day long, and I'm also taking a drug that should clear it up in a few days.

Well, I suppose that's enough bad news for one post! I know...I'm such a party pooper. :)

Here's something fun:

I am: 16.

I think: too much.

I know: that my Redeemer lives.

I have: the best mother in the world.

I wish: that I wasn't sick all the time.

I hate: mushrooms.

I miss: being healthy, my kitty, and my childhood.

I fear: infertility.

I feel: sad, but still blessed.

I hear: the clock chiming.

I smell: dinner cooking!

I crave: a kind father.

I search: for truth and beauty.

I wonder: about the people I see -- what their lives are like, what they are thinking.

I regret: being selfish.

I love: Jesus! And my dearest mommy.

I ache: when I see people hurting, especially when I can do nothing to help them.

I am not: as grateful and patient as I should be.

I believe: in God my Savior.

I dance: not as much as I'd like -- I love dancing!

I sing: for joy that I belong to Jesus!

I cry: pretty much every day.

I don't always: remember to trust God, but I'm working on it...

I fight: my envy of others.

I write: not as much as I used to.

I win: because the Lord is my defender.

I lose: hope, all too often.

I never: want to lose faith.

I always: dream of being a wife and mother.

I confuse: doing what's truly best for myself with selfishness.

I listen: for the still, small Voice.

I can usually be found: thinking.

I am scared: all too often.

I need: Love.

I am happy about: working for VBS next week.

I imagine: where I'll be 10 years from now.

I am wearing: a green shirt and a black skirt.

I look forward to: Heaven.

~~~~~

Have a blessed weekend!

Erin

Prayer request...

I'm leaving for Chicago tomorrow, and prayers would be GREATLY appreciated. I'm pretty nervous, as I am terrified of flying, so if you could pray for peace of mind and a safe flight, I would be very grateful.

Thanks, everyone!

Erin

What a beautiful Lord's day this has been!

...Other than the fact that it was 103 degrees. *dies of heat*

But even so, it was just a really peaceful day for me. And I love how all my physical and mental pain just melts away when I'm in the presence of the Lord and His followers. Even when I am nauseated from stomach contractions and back pain, it just doesn't matter any more! It's the most amazing feeling. Yes, I'm aware of discomfort, but it seems so far away, like my spirit is separated from my body. What an amazing experience! I hope everyone is having an equally pleasant Sunday. :)

And on a slightly different note, I'm going to be at Nashotah House for a few days next week (Tuesday-Saturday), and I'm stopping by the Chicago Art Institute while I'm there. Anyone want me to bring them anything? :D Anyway, be good while I'm gone, and don't miss me too much!

Peace of Christ be with you always,

Erin

Dealing with jealousy

Recently, I've been dealing a LOT with jealousy and wishing I was at a different stage of my life.

Sometimes I'll think "Wow, God, you've really given me more than I ever deserve, and you've helped me to not be envious of others and what they have." And then, I'll see a young mother holding a baby, with a toddler or two clinging to her skirts, and I'll just about lose it. "God, why can't I just skip the next five years of my life and be stable, married, and have two or three kids? That's all I want right now. Just give me people I can love and who love me, and I'll be happy and do everything You ask."

If anyone has any advice on dealing with this kind of thing, please don't hesitate to share it with me. :)

Peace of Christ be with you always,

Erin

My new blog!

Yep, this is it. :) I would write a long and poetic introduction post, but it is late, and I have a violin lesson tomorrow morning. *yawn*

Goodnight!

~Erin