Thursday, July 17, 2008

The Big Update

Hi, everyone! Sorry it's been so long since I updated...things have been more than a little insane around here lately. :)

In the past three weeks, I've had two ruptured ovarian cysts (resulting in two unpleasant hospital visits), and I found out I have PCOS (Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome). This is weighing very heavily on me right now, because -- aside from the physical pain it's causing -- my doctor told me it's going to be very difficult to get pregnant later on, and I won't be able to do it without some sort of medical help. For those of you who don't know me well... this is the worst blow I could ever have had. I live for the time when I can have children. And the mere thought that I might not be able to do that is heartbreaking. So please, please pray that I will not have that precious gift taken away.

Then, for the last week, I've had a herpes outbreak with little blisters and scabs all around my mouth and lips (very painful) so I've hardly been able to eat or drink anything. If it keeps going much longer, I'll have to be fed through a tube at the hospital, and I *really* don't want that to happen! I have to apply ice around my mouth pretty much all day long, and I'm also taking a drug that should clear it up in a few days.

Well, I suppose that's enough bad news for one post! I know...I'm such a party pooper. :)

Here's something fun:

I am: 16.

I think: too much.

I know: that my Redeemer lives.

I have: the best mother in the world.

I wish: that I wasn't sick all the time.

I hate: mushrooms.

I miss: being healthy, my kitty, and my childhood.

I fear: infertility.

I feel: sad, but still blessed.

I hear: the clock chiming.

I smell: dinner cooking!

I crave: a kind father.

I search: for truth and beauty.

I wonder: about the people I see -- what their lives are like, what they are thinking.

I regret: being selfish.

I love: Jesus! And my dearest mommy.

I ache: when I see people hurting, especially when I can do nothing to help them.

I am not: as grateful and patient as I should be.

I believe: in God my Savior.

I dance: not as much as I'd like -- I love dancing!

I sing: for joy that I belong to Jesus!

I cry: pretty much every day.

I don't always: remember to trust God, but I'm working on it...

I fight: my envy of others.

I write: not as much as I used to.

I win: because the Lord is my defender.

I lose: hope, all too often.

I never: want to lose faith.

I always: dream of being a wife and mother.

I confuse: doing what's truly best for myself with selfishness.

I listen: for the still, small Voice.

I can usually be found: thinking.

I am scared: all too often.

I need: Love.

I am happy about: working for VBS next week.

I imagine: where I'll be 10 years from now.

I am wearing: a green shirt and a black skirt.

I look forward to: Heaven.


Have a blessed weekend!



Luke Holmes said...

Oh Erin... I'm so sorry, wow, you have been going through so much. You're amazing, Erin. I'm praying, so much. Just keep trusting God. Remember that we love you.

Cat said...

Wow. God is working through you so much, but it's so terribly painful(even to hear). My, you're amazing. *hug squeeze* God bless you - you are *always* in my prayers! (I'm SO going to call you soon)

Connor Hamilton said...

Oh, Erin, you're in our prayers! Your faith and lack of bitterness are wonderful--keep trusting God. He will never be faithless.